Saturday, April 3, 2010

Boneheads and Their Blunders

I’m thoroughly convinced that Formula One teams are comprised of the best and brightest minds in the automotive business. Each one of those racing machines, particularly those at the front end of the field, are absolute technological marvels. The amount of organizational, engineering, and mechanical knowledge floating around an F1 paddock is staggering. So, it’s all the more befuddling when you see one repeated bone head move after another. It seems each week, the F1 circus is intent on one upping each other in blunders.


The true silly season started even before the start of the season. A big Boneheaded Blunder award deservedly goes to our very own USF1 entry, an ambitious project spearheaded by Peter Windsor and Ken Anderson. Big on intellectual horsepower, but woefully short on financial horsepower. Despite preparing early and appearing to have all their “ducks in a row,” the team massively underestimated the budget required to even get started with producing a car. We should have known something was amiss when the team was a no-show at the first test session.

Speaking of no-showing at a test session, another big Boneheaded Blunder award goes to Christian Horner, Adrian Newey and the lads over at Red Bull Racing. They decided to skip one of the four test sessions so as to further refine the aerodynamic package – the thought being, “Why test when we’re going to make changes?” Here’s the reason: to develop reliability. Two races into the season, Sebastian Vettel has seen two easy victories turn into one forth place finish and one DNF. Instead of sitting on 50 points in the championship, he has 12. If we’ve learned one thing from modern F1, it’s that building an early lead in the championship is critical. Will Red Bull make all the tests next pre-season? My money says “yes,” particularly if Vettel can’t overcome his early season deficit.

While Vettel was failing to finish last week’s Australia Grand Prix, the cars of Virgin Racing, driven by Timo Glock and Lucas Di Grassi, went into the race knowing they wouldn’t be around at the end. Somehow, with all the technical engineering know-how back at the shop, the boys at Virgin Racing designed a car with a fuel tank that was too small to see their cars to the end of the race in Melbourne. Last year, no big deal. This year, the first with no refueling allowed since 1993, it’s a really, really big deal. It’s not like they were a few drops shy. They estimated they were a ridiculous 12 liters shy of the fuel necessary, and that’s what they admitted to. Either they’re planning a very expensive redesign to accommodate a larger fuel cell, or we can expect the Virgin cars to be parked well before the end of several Grands Prix this year. To Virgin, I bestow another Boneheaded Blunder award.

All of the above was prior to today, when the big bully on the F1 block, Ferrari, made another colossal screw-up, bigger so than the shockingly foretelling Massa Malaysian Qualifying Mess-Up of ’09. At the Sepang circuit today, both Ferraris were safely ensconced in the garage, out of the elements of the wind and rain, brilliant in their red finish, so sparkling as it was being bone dry. The other cars, mind you, were circling the wet track, posting timed laps – any time – in case the weather got worse. Ferrari gambled, and lost. The weather did get worse, the times grew slower, and by the time the cars of Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa took to the track, a sailboat would have been a more preferred vehicle to post a fast time.

Gambling makes total sense when the goal is to be the quickest car. However, the goal of Q1 is not to be quickest; rather, the goal is to not be in the slowest seven, and thus earn your way into Q2. Ferrari gets to start Sunday’s race in 19th and 21st. Alongside those honors, they can also show off their own Boneheaded Blunder award.

So, if the F1 teams are filled with the best and brightest minds of the automobile industry, what explains the ongoing parade of idiocy? Ah, I overlooked perhaps the key words – “best and brightest minds of the automobile industry.” Oh yeah, that’s right.

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